Last night I fell asleep with dreams of my new itouch that has yet to arrive in the mail. Through awesome, weird, fucked up and insane dreams, I woke up in a rather peculiar position.
It was as if my whole body rallied together and thought, “how can we make Sarah’s day suck in some sort of capacity”. These minions chose to make my neck and spinal column turn in angles not meant for average human bones. They even threw in some arthritis in my legs and arms.
After several hours of walking around like my bones had been liquefied, I came up with some solutions; in case you are ever in this tortuous predicament.
1.Become an expert masseuse on yourself in 3, 2, 1…GO!
2.Find a medieval torture device, find a sadistic friend and stretch your mangled parts into MMM fresh awwwww relief 🙂
3. If you don’t have cash,extraordinarily good looking, and have zero morals, sell your body for a chiropractor appointment.
4.crack every bone in your body
5.practice being a contortionist.
There are a myriad of differnt options, but the top 5…they are your best bet.
Note: Sarah of Flying Platypus is in no way liable of any self inflicted damage, harm or weird kama sutra moves that result in a handicap of your person.
Flying Platypus 